Observations on Patience

I spent a considerable amount of time this weekend in reflective thought on a major failing point in my life, namely patience. I was up at a reasonable time today and the thought came about me that I should work on a little project. The specific nature of this project not being terribly important to the whole world, I shall suffice to say that it encompassed about four hours of fine-motor-skills repetition and only a vague picture in my mind of the intended outcome. Perhaps oddly, I had decided some time ago the physical nature of the project was, on the whole, not nearly as important as these two factors:

1. It needed to be done as a matter of the inward development of patience, and
2. it deserved to be done as a matter of an offering of appreciation.

Sometimes one does something for the less intrinsic reasons rather than the physical, obvious reasons. Today's work could have gone undone forever and no one but myself would ever had known of my intention, subsequent failure to commit, and ultimately, the reason for that failure:  unwillingness to have patience whilst performing the act in and of itself.

I have come to the conclusion today that often times we rush work on things, simply buy something that is suitable but not really as meaningful, or fail to deal with situations at all, solely out of the craving for instant gratification. In what form this gratification comes is probably not as important as a person's attachment and desire for it, because we can each be somewhat different in respect to what specific cravings afflict our mind. In my case, I was concerned that the task I had chosen would become boring or that I would decide that it looked bad, but ultimately these concerns had to be set aside. While failure was an option, it would not be the result of my simply never trying something.

Look upon history and tell me that men such as Francis Scott Key or Frédéric Auguste Bartholdi were so consumed by the need for instant gratification. My projects scale in the span of hours and days; such men toiled for years! Quite frankly, I would say that true greatness never became of anyone so terribly afflicted with impatience – a fact that I hope I can retrain my mind to fully comprehend... in time...

As I prepare for rest tonight, I bring to mind that tomorrow is a day of Uposatha observance... and as such will serve as a day of additional moderation further mental consideration.  While I never seem to quite fully observe such days, I am confident that my efforts at each opportunity further my practice.  This serves as another area of my mind in which intent is present but the patience, among other qualities, may at times be lagging behind.

Friends, I hope you are well and I shall share again soon.