On Reading, the Holiday, and Change in General

Each day I make the effort to do a certain amount of reading. This is a recently adopted habit for me (like, since I quit drinking two weeks ago), and an oddly enjoyable one which I intend to continue.

Of course, some of my reading is done in the form of my Study Guide, which has taken a central place in my daily practice. Each day I have three pages of what I consider “ritual reading:” my Affirmations, the taking of the Five Precepts, and a series of Daily Recollections. These are then, time permitting, followed by a brief piece on Idle Speech (basically when to speak or not to speak) and a reciting of the Heart Sutra. A passage from the Dhammapada generally follows. I go through this routine three or four times a day, with additional reading on certain days as appropriate.

For additional reading, particularly because I cannot expect to “learn” anything new through reciting and memorization of the same text every day, I am intent on keeping at least one book on hand at all times to read, maybe finding time each day for ten or so pages before setting it aside in order to complete my household duties and work.

The last couple weeks, I have been reading The Lotus Sutra (translated by Burton Watson). The book is long, and perhaps wordier than necessary, but I always feel like I received something, even if small, each day in my reading of it. Today, I read a passage that sort of speaks to how I have felt as I have progressed in my daily practice, and I thought it appropriate to share.

“We beg the most honored of heavenly and human beings

to turn the wheel of the unsurpassed Law.

Strike the great Dharma drum,

blow the great Dharma conch,

rain down the great Dharma rain all around

to save immeasurable living beings!

We direct all our faith and entreaties to you--

let your profound and far-reaching voice sound out!”

This struck me because I have found that my own internal feeling on everything I have been reading could be interpreted this way. I hadn't thought about it much, but I have been going from one source to another taking in as much as I can and applying it to my life, and then, at every turn, asking for more. My search for information seems never-ending, and the available supply of it similarly inexhaustible. It is raining personal truth all around me, and quite frankly, I'm having fun learning about and fitting it into my life.

So I will have to return this copy of The Lotus Sutra to the library on Friday so that another, possibly like-minded library patron might partake of his or her own share in this Dharma rain, and I find myself oddly happy. Sure, I'm making certain that I keep my place logged so that I can borrow the book another time and complete it, but I don't mind the idea that someone else will hopefully get something from it as I have and be made more complete by it, even if only in some infinitely small way.

In any event, I'll have another book to read in the meantime, so I'll continue to take in the information and, clearly, will not have to sit idle.

So we also have the holiday coming up, and I figured I'd switch topics briefly before I close for the night. Saturday I do believe my family will be going to church, so I am looking forward to some quiet time at home for reflection an reading that evening, and Sunday is the ever-important Christmas Day.

I'm looking forward to spending time with the family, including my wife's parents of course, and just enjoying my son's response to the day. I'm sure he'll be very pleased, and if past Christmases are any indication, he will be supremely well behaved (another reason I don't dread the holiday). He's never been the sort to get ill-mannered or hurried, so I like to think that we have raised him well, thus far.

Monday, we'll be driving to Bellefontaine to visit my family there and see how my father is doing. I'm hopeful that he will be in good spirits and not feeling too terribly unwell as a result of his chemo treatment last week. My posts on Facebook continually receive responses of well wishes and indications of prayer, both of which I know he greatly appreciates, so I thank you all for reading and for your compassion.

In closing, I do want to take a moment and say that I appreciate those of my friends and family who have not let my personal changes in mindset, beliefs, or behavior alienate me from them.  I do feel as if a few of my friends have basically stopped talking to me or limited contact with me, and I think that is unfortunate, but I won't be apologizing for it anytime soon.  If my intent is to become a better person, and that intent turns someone away, then I shall let them be so inclined without any malice.  Ultimately, I must file that under "Not My Problem," and move on in peace.

My hope is that you are well and at ease, my friends.