I Don't Know...

Something I have come to realize of late is that all of the things I deal with in life, whether they be large are small, are somehow connected, related, or directly resultant from the things I have done before. Call it karma or simply call it cause and effect; it is effectively the same thing either way. My own lust for gratification, anger over perceived wrongs against me, or even simply the intent to just “do what I want to do” at any given moment has an effect on every moment subsequent to it.

Whether that seems positive or negative at the time is inconsequential, it simply is.

I can trace a great many of my own actions in this life to my own, limited understanding of samsara, referring particularly to my most memorable emotions, passions, and experiences. Many of the things I have done in life have been based solely on the misconceptions created in my mind by such feelings and impulses. False perceptions of the world that somehow I decided were true, and so I acted, without complete mindfulness. All of these occurrences have far-reaching implications on every single occurrence that followed it. Overall, I think I can say that I've been rather fortunate that, somehow, I haven't been led into greater disarray and confusion about life in general...

Tonight, I sit in this chair and contemplate how to best describe to my friends and loved ones that which is going on in my mind. Quite frankly, it is difficult because I don't really know. Oddly, this “not knowing” mind is possibly a great strength as I move forward. What am I? I don't know.

I know my obligations as a husband or father, or maybe as an employee, but these attachments do not define me. What am I? I don't know.

So I'll prepare for bed now with that thought on my mind. Will I ever truly answer it?

I don't know...

As a side note tonight, I've done a little updating and the keen observer may note six new images displayed in the Hickersonia's Slides segment (to the left). Several of the images displayed previously were terribly outdated or unimportant, and so I decided it best if I took a moment and “freshened” it.

As I get back into the routine of experimenting with Blogspot's capabilities (some of which may have changed since I last probed the subject), other such changes may be made. I suppose we shall see in time.

Good night, friends. Be well.