Tearing Down of Old Concepts

Or maybe simply bringing in new ones... I'm not sure sometimes.

In recent months I have been reluctant to post anything here, I'll admit. Some of this comes from my uncertainty of what to post, while another piece of the puzzle simply comes from not knowing how those things which are on my mind will be received.

I suppose, as it pertains to the latter, it could be said that I'm breaking down some of the barriers on that matter of late.

I've discussed religion a lot with my friends, and amongst others who care to have reasonable discourse, but I've had a solid seven or eight years in which I haven't been able to call myself “Christian” without cringing. Sure, I've always held some concept of a higher power or being that either provokes(ed) or creates(ed) things on Earth, but this belief has not done me many favors. Fact is, I've spent a number of years hating my fellow man; in a state of anger over most of what I see in life and, quite frankly, in doubt of everything that is decidedly “Christian.”

I've also seen enough selfishness and hate from those who call themselves Christian to figure that most of them have no idea what Christ actually preached.

So I guess the word that has best described my take on religion for some time now is “agnostic.” I have, and remain, unwilling to agree with any particular view that suggests that the creator of the universe can be known fully in our human state. With that said, I've had time to consider what that might really mean, and, to some degree, the ultimate meaninglessness of the question, and have come to a point where I believe I have made a major step in my own spiritual life.

As I said, I have found great anger and hatred in myself towards my fellow human being. The time for the extinguishing of that sentiment has long come and gone, and today I do not allow such negative feelings to fester long within me. To say they are gone entirely would be a lie, but I have broken the mental auto-conditioning that continually perpetuated the myth in my mind that any one person is “bad” and another person is “good.” I am slowly, but surely, breaking down the boundaries in my mind that give me the concept of “self” and the illusion that I am somehow completely independent from everyone else. Further, I am perfecting my understanding of what suffering truly is, its relation to all life in general, and how I can eliminate it in my own existence whilst helping to alleviate it in that of those I meet.

Realizing that we are all interconnected is a major step in my own personal breakthrough. Siddhattha Gotama figured this out nearly 26 centuries ago and spent a great deal of his life in so doing and sharing his insight on the matter. He is no god, but was a man who utilized the massive mental capacity of humankind with which he was born to consider life and it's shortcomings; to analyze himself, his connection to others, and the fact that we are not simply flesh and blood existing for a short time. He came to see our impact on one another and shared his understanding by which we can totally utilize the power of our minds to find an ultimate peace, free of suffering.

And to help others in so doing.

So what is the correct life? I've heard it said that, simply, correct life is if someone is hungry, you give them food. If they are thirsty, give them water. If somebody is suffering, help them. Use your human logic; create your own scenario and fill in the blank using the above-mentioned formula – it isn't terribly difficult.

This is basically what I feel like I'm growing toward. It isn't about specific religious practice, but the practice of mental lovingkindness that supersedes all the rubbish that might otherwise defile my mind and persuade me to be negative and to wrong my fellow man.

Do I have any pretense of ever being perfect? No.  Or more bluntly; hell no.

I do, however, believe that I can improve upon myself and become more than I am today. That, and I see the opportunity to promote positive attitudes in others, and hopefully, lessen their suffering as a result.

As I grow in this process, I am hopeful that I will find the time and interest to continue to share as I go along this new path in my life. Else-wise, this is going to be a pretty dead blog page, huh...  Ha!

Thanks for reading.  Be well, friends.