Perspective...

A friend of mine made a comment on Facebook tonight that caught me by surprise; he asked why it is that most Americans look down on Asian people... and I found myself, for a fleeting moment, wanting to go on a tangent about political issues with China or North Korea....

But... it occurred to me, however, that this friend of mine is neither Chinese or Korean, nor if he was would he be part of the reasons for my distrust for either country. He is Cambodian, and I can fully admit that I know almost nothing about his country... and I don't really need to in order to know him or any other person from Cambodia.

While attempting to offer some reassurance that not all people feel negatively towards Asians, I kept thinking that my own personal distrust for China (in particular) and my attitude about the government (not the people) of that country could be very easily seen as “looking down” on Asians when seen out of context.

So sure, I have a negative opinion of the political policies of certain governments in Asia. That said, I should NEVER let that become some sort of judgment upon people of Asian decent, regardless of what country they might be from. I like to think that I've been good enough to see this before, but only now have I really thought about it, so I don't know for sure.

Fact is, there is nothing more “American” that being yourself at any cost. Maybe there is something prophetic in saying that, and I believe it to be one of the most true of all statements. America is about being free to be yourself and do whatever it is that your ambition... or your heart... might lead you to do. This truth applies to anyone, whether he or she be Cambodian, Chinese, Arab, or British, and is effectively a right that should not be infringed by any person.

My friends, I ask you all to be mindful of this in the way you conduct your daily lives. I know I must... for eventually, I imagine it will be more important that most of us can possibly imagine.

Good night, friends.

Happy, but Lacking

The question isn't whether I'm happy with life – most days, I really am, and I could swear an oath to that effect. That said, there does always seem to be some sort of hole in that fabric, dragging me down slightly, and I'm not entirely sure what it is... I could argue that it seems like, from day to day, I come closer and closer to pinning it down only to find that the problem has changed and isn't where I thought it once was, or maybe that I'm nowhere near figuring it out as I seem to always think I am...

If that makes any sense, anyway...

So I've been married 8 years... worked at the same company for 5 (and feel like my job is relatively secure)... and somehow my financial ends meet somewhere between near-chaos and complete self destruction every month. What do I have to complain about? I don't really know... and so I don't usually bother... but that doesn't mean that my mind is completely at ease. I guess I feel like my heart is sometimes in two places at once, leaving me lost and mentally defective at random moments. It is not a particularly pleasant sensation in and of itself, but also not entirely unwelcome so long as the end result continues towards my own personal betterment.

So, it has always been one of my goals to strive to be happy with that which I have already been blessed. That said, there is a part of me that isn't willing to settle for “sufficient” forever. I feel like I'm slowly working towards my own personal level of perfection, and I'm not sure where that will lead me from day to day.

So I suppose it may suffice to say that I continue to wrestle my way through a host of variables in my mind, including the seemingly perpetual fight against my own self (attitude, weight, appearance, whatever) on matters that no one necessarily has to see unless they want to...

Good night, my friends. Be well.

Sorting Things Out

Well, this isn't going to make a lot of sense because I don't necessarily feel compelled to share too much on what has been on my mind since my last post. At least not yet, anyway. Suffice to say, I have been quite busy sorting out some fairly serious things, and I tend to be a little out of the ordinary when that sort of thing takes place.

Fact is, maybe in some tiny ways I'm not done sorting them out, but after some considerable temptations I feel like I've come out on top – made the more honorable, dare I say “righteous,” decisions and kept intact that which really matters to me.

On a side note, somewhat as a random repercussion of my stress over the last few weeks, I have made significant strides in managing my weight. Since my last post, I've shed a little more than 20 pounds. That's about 10% of my body mass, and I must say I am feeling really good about it. It may only be in my mind, but I feel “sexy” for a change, and you can imagine that such a feeling does wonders for one's attitude about... well... pretty much everything.

Fact is, if I quit drinking, I'd probably be down to my goal weight of 170 by Christmas... but, quite frankly, I'm not in THAT big of a hurry... and I think I have a few more tricks up my sleeve that might still get me there. We'll see...

In any event, I wanted to express that I haven't forgotten entirely about the blog, but obviously have had things on my mind that didn't rank highly on my “crap I want to tell random people about” list.

Place the quote: “I was thinking. And it hurt! Hurt my head!”

On that... in all actuality, thinking usually hurts my stomach... at least when it is the “serious” sort of stuff... Meh...

Be well, friends!