Low Moments

Late last night I had an unpleasant but necessary phone conversation with my father. Those who read regularly might recall that he has been ill for some time with nodular melanoma, an aggressive skin cancer. We talked for about half an hour (a very long phone conversation for him, by any measure). He has started a new round of chemo and wanted to talk about his experience, among other things.

While we talked, I found something he had written in one of his online publications that I believe illustrates the situation better than I can in my own words, so I will quote it here:

“A most difficult day that began with my Doctors taking me into a room with three other people waiting. I worked at a hospital for twenty years and I recognized immediately the purpose of this room. We used to refer to it as the “Grief Room.” These were “end of life” counselors that are typically brought in to give patients advice during the last ninety days. The doctors do not believe I can make it to my goal of June to get my youngest daughter out of High School. They may be right… but I am one determined father. Then the chemo was just awful. I had not realized any IV could be so painful as it burned the vein. I am light-headed and dizzy tonight but I am going through the nightly routines because I must. I am simply unready to surrender my life yet. I am having too much fun and too much left undone.”

Clearly, optimism as to his future is diminishing and preparative measures will need to be taken in the coming weeks so that as many loose ends are tied as possible before his condition worsens. That said, his resolve is strong and he is unwilling to give up. That stubbornness of his may pay off; if one gives up, it is effectively a self-fulfilling prophesy at that point: inevitable failure.

I'll continue to keep friends and family updated here and on Facebook as a receive new information. I appreciate everyone's well-wishes and consideration.

Remember the now, and be well, friends.